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Catherine Porter fights the wind from a passing subway car while posing for a picture outside Coxwell station on Monday. Porter dressed as a carrot and spent 90 minutes handing out flyers for a farmers' market.

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I woke up jittery Monday morning, like I had mainlined two black coffees in bed.

It was my turn to dress up like a vegetable and stand outside the subway during rush hour.

The cause was good: my local farmers’ market opens this week. The delivery was bad: an orange padded carrot costume lovingly sewn by a neighbour, topped with a spiky green headband.

An admission: I have dressed up as a vegetable before. This time last year, I stood outside Coxwell subway station as a pea, three giant green goitres hanging down my front. But, I had brought along my daughter, dressed adorably as a pumpkin, and as every teenager knows, discount uggs company defuses humiliation. What stranger wouldn’t be entranced by a 4-year-old pumpkin?

This time I was alone.

“You are a geek,” my husband said as I flipped the carrot point over my bicycle bar.

“Have a carrot day!” my daughter shouted gleefully as I pedalled away.

Here’s one lesson I’ve gleaned. Call it wisdom: The only thing worse than dressing up as a vegetable is half-dressing up as a vegetable. You have to own it; ugg boots on sale ugg boots on sale otherwise you are cooked like a carrot. People smell fear and in this town, it doesn’t soften them.

I locked up my bike and snapped on the headband, which sprouted from my head like cockatoo feathers.

The slip of a girl handing out 24 Hours newspapers by the subway entrance looked dolefully at me as I took my station, a stack of flyers in hand.

The first five people walked briskly by, not so much as a sympathetic glance tossed my way. Another five charged by — only two reaching out to snap the flyer I offered.

Most wore earbuds, which are the modern equivalent to sunglasses. If I can’t hear you, you don’t exist, even if you are dressed like a vegetable.

This is what homeless people feel like, sitting on our streets. Ghosts.

“It takes two days to get used to it,” confided the 24 Hours hawker, named Elnathan. She just finished her second year of university ugg boots for sale , she said. The job was her version of brain hibernation over the summer.

“Wait till you are 50,” said a neighbour, slowing down her jog to chat with me. “No one sees you after you are 50. Especially men.”

There is a reason why the closet of Halloween costumes for middle-aged women is as prescribed as it is for 3-year-old girls. Replace a pink fairy dress with a black leather corset and knee-high boots, and voila, you have an outfit that might actually get you noticed. I learned this two years ago when I went to a costume party dressed as a banana. I drove there with the window open, the top end flapping in the breeze.

At least people thought my costume was funny at that party. They laughed. What would I do for a laugh on this lonely strip of concrete?

Lesson No. 2: Being noticed when you are dressed funny can be more dangerous than being invisible.

The first person inexpensive uggs , other than Elnathan, to strike up a conversation with me was an older woman, hauling on a cigarette. She took my flyer, peered closely into my face, then announced the world was a scary place and people would rape you and leave you in the gutter.

“Carrots are delicious,” an older gentleman later said, cozying his shoulder into mine. “Do you think I could grow some on my balcony?”

If you are going to engage strangers, you have to be willing to be engaged. We should all be more open. What are people in this city afraid of?

I was on a roll. Elnathan told me so, from her quiet perch by the door. She doesn’t need to push her merchandise — she’s paid by the hour. If I don’t hand these things out, they’ll further clutter my white trash front porch.

“Are you getting paid for this?” Elnathan asked.

“No,” I said. “I just love the farmers’ market and want it to succeed.”

Her eyes bugged out.

Perhaps the first stitch of another thread to this story was started right then. My first volunteer gig was inspired by a stranger.

For now, my theme is empathy and humility. I remember the torment of waiting alone, at 14, for my friends to meet me on a street corner or inside a movie theatre. I attribute much of my confidence to those awkward moments, stripped of the armour of my friends. Teenagers today, ever accompanied by cellphones and BlackBerrys, will miss that growth.

It’s good to feel vulnerable. When is the last time you embarrassed yourself, ugg boots cheap ugg boots cheap on purpose? You should try it.

A neighbourhood friend appeared. She’s also a fan of the East Lynn Farmers’ Market. She asked that I drop off the leftover flyers and carrot costume at her house. She set the record for selling duct cleaning services at a Home Depot one summer, she said. She’ll take my place on Wednesday morning.

Be nice to her.